[This reimagined version of the famed scene from a few good men was inspired by one of my brothers as I sat and drank a beer before a lower side match.  It was later used on one of our pesky backs.]

   Son, in this world there are scrums, and in those scrums you need PROPS.  Are you willing to do it?  As a prop, I have greater responsibility than you can ever fathom.  You use words like drunk and out of shape.  Those words are the very I back bone of a life I have spent drinking and partying in, and you use them as a punch line. 

You weep for your wings and centers and curse the prop forward.  You have that luxury, you have the luxury of knowing that the front row, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, wins these games you play.  Truth?  You can't handle the truth, cause deep down in places you don't talk about in your selection meetings, you want me in that scrum, you need me in that scrum.

I neither have the time, nor the inclination to explain myself to a back that scores under the very blanket of ball retention that I provide and then questions the manner in which I provide it.  I would rather you just bought me a beer and went on your way, otherwise, I suggest you crawl into a scrum and get dirty, either way, I don't give a damn who you think is responsible. 
-John "Montana" Thomas  ( http://www.theherald.co.uk/sport/archive/3-8-19100-23-56-55.html )
 

The Epic journey in 2006 will take Montana to all corners of the US.  This is the year the Idiot Odyssey book will be completed so make sure you are on board for this Road Trip.  Stay online waiting for more stories and more exciting adventures from Rugby's Ambassador of Love, Montana!

The Adventures begin with the Odyssey