Mamoo and the Big Red Rocks
Kevin and I wake up completely hung over from our 4 AM venture to King's Cross. Aussie Sean drops us off at the airport and we precede to the Qantas club. We get breakfast and read the paper. We then boarded our flight to Uluru/Ayers Rock and were on our way. During our flight we drank a couple VBs on the flight and watched Bridget Jones Diary (this would be the first time I would see the film....but not the last dreadedly.)
We arrived in the hot red outback and were off to our tour camp site. We would be camping overnight in tents and being fed by a tour group. We got on board our vehicle and instantly I see the only single, young female on board. My thoughts race to the prophecy that the medium told me about. That I would "hook up" with someone in Australia. Sharing a warm bed in the cold outback sounded like fun. Bubby and I sat down and the motley bunch stared at us.
Zane, a tour guide provided us with an interesting mix of aboriginal superstition, historical background, and ecological details. Each story a bit more interesting then the previous. Except, Mamoo. Mamoo, was in a class all to itself. You see, Zane was telling us about the harsh outback conditions and what aborigines used to tell their children to keep them from wandering off at night, was that Mamoo, the mystical dingo, would come and steal them.
Bubby and I loved the concept. We had already used our "A dingo ate my pussy line" but enjoyed this one more. Everywhere we would go....if something was missing, or there was a noise, either Bubby or I would reply with, "Mamoo is out there." During one of the tours, Zane was providing details on the big red rocks formation. After the long description of geological formation due to pressures and molten physics was completed, Bubby turned to Zane and says, "You give no legitimacy to the rumor that they are actually UFOs?" The entire tour broke out into a laugh. I about fell down the mountain laughing. Kevin and I had joked about that earlier, but I had no idea he would repeat the statement to the tour guide. The tour guide realized he was in for a long day and a half.
I made friendly with the single girl, an Australian, but it some became quite clear that her mind was wandering back to her boyfriend on the coast, so Bubby and I focused our night, on drinking. We convinced Zane to pull into the beer store and pick up some beer for the night's fire festivities. We sat around the big fire, telling stories and drinking more VB. The group was an ecclectic group of British, Aussies, Dutch, and Kiwis. Bubby wouldn't stop asking the Kiwis how they enjoyed the last minute of the match 2 days before. At one point, the Dutch were babbling about American Colonialism and the negative affect it left on US reputation. I decided to go off on this Dutch dude.
[NOTE: The island I refer to is Macau, a Portuguese territory in the 1800s. I am wrong. But I don't care.]
MT: "What about that territory Holland had in China. You
know...the small island in Shang Hai Harbor."
Dutch Guy: "You mean Dutch Indonesia?"
MT: "No China man, China. You know big Asian land mass,
Near Korea, Mongolia.....you know CHINA....Chinese food?"
Bubby: {whispers} Shang Hai doesn't have a harbor.
MT: "I don't care....then Peking Harbor."
Dutch Guy: "you mean Dutch India."
MT: "What part of China don't you get there Dutch boy.....I said
China, damn it China."
Argument ends with neither of us knowing what the hell is going on. I later find out, it is Portugual and it is Hong Kong Harbor....oh well.
So Bubby notices the beer in the cooler is disappearing very quickly. "Mamoo....are you stealing beer?" No reply....I say "bastard!"
The Dutch guy then explains how they have a similar story in Holland. Mix of Mamoo and Santa. If you are good at Christmas, Santa will bring you a gift. But if you are bad, (and I am quoting the Dutch guy) "A Black man from Spain will come and steal you and bring you back to Spain." Nothing about this sentence made me feel right. I quickly stand up and point out, that, "not only are you scarring these children for life to fear black men, but also a generalized hatred of Spain. What would the Madrid Tourist bureau think of you eliminating one entire country from their marketing plan." The group laughed. I assume it was a legend developed during the Moors occupation of Spain and abductions occurred a lot back then. Either way, seemed a bit anti PC, even for me.
Well we go back to our tent and hit the hay. It has dropped to
about 5 degrees outside...it is freezing. We are woken at 430 to
get up and eat breakfast and move to Uluru to watch the sun rise and cause
the glowing sensation in the rock. Breakfast was fine. We drove
out to the rock and waited in the dark for the sun rise. I took several
great pictures including the ones you see. Below is a picture of
the rocks at sunrise, as the MOON is setting. 
Amazing
scene. We had the single girl from the day before chatting with us
and walking with us as we circled the rock. She took a photo of Bubby
and I doing Tae Bo in front of the rocks. Unfortunately, the picture
was very blury. We finished our hike, had lunch, and were off on
our way to Cairns, where in the words of my buddy, "would take it to the
next level."
So we depart Ayers Rock for Cairns, home of our beloved Ozzy Paul. We smuggled about 5 beers on board and start drinking them during take off. The flight attendant spoted us and walked over and confiscates them, sighting some Aussie Federal aviation chingas. I apologize and when she returns to give us drinks, she asks what I want. I reply, "do you have any Milwaukee's Best Light (what we were drinking - the remaining surplus I carried for the flight over)?" She says no...and I blurt out..."liar....you just took mine." She laughed and handed us some VBs, or as we had started calling them now, VBskys. She became quite fond of us, and stood with us most of the flight. She asked Bubby where he was from and he replied, "Russia...I like VBsky" Then I followed with "Can we get one for our friend Mamoo...the Mystical Dingo that steals aboriginal children in the night?" She seriously looked confused at this point and we just laughed. After about 8 beers she started considering shutting us down, but I bribed her with a PAC rugby pin and she was ours the rest of the flight. Her actual comment was, "Oh GEE...thanks...that is what I have always wanted."
At this point we started using Mamoosky, the Russian dingo that steals aboriginal children in the middle of the night. We were losing it.
She saw my dip bottle and asked about it. She then wanted to see my copenhagen and took out a tiny bit and examined it...rolling it in her fingers and smelling it. She was quite intrigued.
I then asked her where we should go in Cairns and she started giving us directions and I said, "wait, we are idiot brothers, why don't you just show us where." She laughed and told us she might meet us at PJ Obriens.
We landed, quite loaded, got into a cab and the cabbie says, "where to mates?" I reply "Sydney..and hurry." Bubby and I about piss ourselves laughing and he sat and said nothing. Bubby then says, the Castle motor lodge inn (or something) and I tell him it is like a 5 star hotel. He holds up one finger and says, barely a 1 star. We arrive and sure enough, it looks like Motel 6 in Las Vegas with a castle theme....but not as fancy and without the bright lights, and really crappy. We upgrade to a room that had an air conditioner (optional I guess) and go to sign in.
When we are there, I ask the lady if they allow dogs and she says no...and I turn to bubby and say, "Guess Mamoo, the mystical dingo that steals aboriginal children will have to sleep outside." We about die laughing again, but the lady sits and says nothing. We leave and go for some food. All you can eat prawns for $20. We eat a shit load and head out to the bars.
