The Sea faring folks of Sea Isle NJ

Land of IB 22; Rugby Spice

Well the trip began on Thursday night at the rugby bar.  I was talking to my roommate, who has since become and Idiot Brotehr, and we decided we would leave at Midnight (after work) on Friday.  We would drive the 3 or 4 hours to the Ocean, stay with IB 22 at his parent's home and then off for drinking and partying.  

I woke up in a heap of Big Bite boxes Friday morning in my 2nd favorite hybernation center (my green chair) and staggered upstairs to get that crucial last 2 hours of sleep before having to move a friend (and make some dinero for the trip) and Super Boy and I found an entire box of glow stick necklaces.  They each said "Murphys St Pats."  They were in a dumpster, so we took them.  We figured we could sell them at the beach for a $1 each and make a bit of drinky drinky money.

At midnight I come home and find SB and MJ sipping on brews and Jason, who was supposed to be ready, sitting in his boxers drinking a beer as well.  They were complaining about losing 3 hours of their lives (They watched Pearl Harbor - which Jason ACTUALLY bought).  I arrive, get a beer, and sleep, cold-sinus stuffy thing over come me and I suggest we put off the trip til
the morning.  Jason, stepping up, says, Nonsense, gets me out of the chair and we start packing.  We load everything we need in the car:  SB's South African Brandy, 575 Glow stick necklaces SB and I found earlier that day, and some clothes. SB had coughed up money for our traveling beer (bless his little heart) and we were off.  I got some Dayquil because the sinus was putting me out.

We left town around 130 AM and found traffic to be, as expected, non existant.  We drank about 20 cans of beer by the time we reached Harry's house, and overshot the turn off by about 10 miles.......so found ourselves at the beach, beer in hand, camera in hand and watching the sunrise. 

NOTE:  Head got a call from his x fiance while driving and I got to listen to him talk mooshy with her for 20-30 minutes.  He even turned the music so far down, that all I could pay attention to was their convo.  Afterwards he did actually say, "how many rules did I just break there."  No need to make excuses.

So we arrive at Rugby Spice's  plantation and find bed's very appealing.  It is 630 am.  We sleep til about 9 AM and get up to a fine breakfast.  Harry's father, knowing me as well as my own, offered me a beer right away....Bless him, and then we found ourselves on our way to watch rugby and drink some booze.

We pick up 2 bottles of champagne and a 30 pack of Busch light and start our journey.  We hit the pitch, with Bon Jovi blaring, 2 bottles of pagne down the drain and well into our beer.  We arrive and see Super Boy and Handsome Pete with the girls parking their car and we find our way to the pitch.  The hot chicks were everywhere and it was looking to be a warm day.

After some small talk with the boys, I plant my fat ass next to some red head and precede to throw cheese pick up lines at her.  We laugh about it and she buggers off.  I precede to drink more. 

Now Pete, who has arrived obliterated, is falling down all over himself.  Pretty sure that every guy in the camp had his, mine or Head's balls on their head at some point (we would lift our kilts and lay our balls on people's heads).  The day drifted into late afternoon and I noticed my legs were the scarlet red of the USSR flag.  That gonna hurt I think.

Head and I get into a wrestling match and he soon lies helpless under my steel vice grip as I give him a noogie.  He complains about breaking his toe somewhere along the line.  We then drive up to the party and find an empty bar, well almost empty.

Harry, Jason and I sit down and ask for menus.  They inform us they don't serve food, so Harry and Head cross the street to eat.  I tell them I will watch their beers 'til they get back.  After what seems like hours (30-45 minutes) they come back and find their beers have not been protected, but rather have disappeared.  What they didn't know was I had seen them coming and had already ordered them fresh ones (theirs would have been flat and warm by the time they got back...so I drank them).  So they arrive and give me a hard time.  The food they got me, they took back and Harry actually started chomping on my pizza (I like
pizzza).  About this time, I say, "there you go guys....sorry it wasn't here waiting for you...didn't want you guys to have warm beers."  I get some random apologies from them and we continue to drink $1 coors lights.

The day continues.  Pete has come out of his alcohol induced coma and is talking to Dair.   SB and I are sharing some laughs with a Scottish prop that plays in PA, and Shanks is ignorning SB because he let her in on the secret of his fidelity in South Africa.  For the most part, then next 12 hours would be the "Days of Shanks and SB lives."

Everyone is heading over to Timmy's house (rugger from Brandywine) and Harry, Head and I are getting ready to make our journey over, when these 2 hotties come in.  I get to pose with their ass.  I come back to the boys and say, "I just haven't had that tie in to the Odyssey yet on this trip.  Nothing that has jumped out screaming, 'Homer's the Odyssey.'"  Moments
later, I would get my tie in.  A girl started talking to Harry and Head when I approach.  She introduces herself to us as ATHENA. (Athena was Oddessius' guardian angel for the most part).   The three of us all look at each other in amazement and then she buys me a drink.  We head over to the party and find a parking spot about 1/2 block from their house.  About half way there, Head remembers the glow sticks and we run back wrapping our bodies in glow stick necklaces.  The boys have decided they will only give them for tits.  I decide I will sell mine.  By the time we reached the party 1/2 block away, I had already sold 40 or so.......with a profit of about $50.  Jason had given 2 to a girl that showed her tits.

The party was going well, beer was flowing, SB and Shanks were fighting, Liza was making out with Harry, when I decided it was time to go sell more sticks and get to the bars.  So I head out the door.  I sell another few and get invited to a party next
door.  Bunch of hottie chicks begged for glow sticks.  When confronted with the option of $1 each or show me their boobs, I made another $7.  Their boyfriends gladly show their chests, but I demand $2 each from them.  I headed downtown with that group, but lost them 1/2 way there (had to get more sticks.)  Picked up another group and found my way into some bar in Sea Isle:  La Costas or soemthing.

I get in and sell a few necklaces, give away a bunch, and then get called out by the owner.  He tells me that the police are looking for glow sticks because that is the sign of an ex dealer (So me wearing 40 around my neck must have looked like the damn grand wizzard of Extacy.)  Anyways, he asked me to remove them, so I did.  Went back in the bar and was about to order 2 more beers when a guy and his wife (brother of the bartender) just bought me my beers....well got his brother not to charge me.  

So I thanked them, and drank my drinks.  I would later buy them a round (thinking if I buy one round for them, and he will take care of me all night.) He thanked me and I listened to the band (which was pretty damn good). Well about this time Jen, Harry, Jason, and SB stagger in.  SB tells me that Harry jumped him from behind and smashed his head into the cement.  SB face
is cut up.  Moments later, Harry tells me a similar story.  I ask Jason about it and he confirms they were both drunk and pushing,Super Boy just happened to fall on his face when Harry pushed him.  But truth be told, SB pushed first.  It is about this point SB loses motor function and the ability to speak.  His communciation is through a series of grunts, points and snores (as he passes out several times standing up.....quite a feat for a 285 pound man in a club)  Harry has found a group of his HS buddies and they are throwing drinks at us non stop.  I keep drinking, SB snores, and Harry does his party club dancing with a bachelorette party.  I tell the boys that if the band plays GNR Sweet child, I will go and get topless and get kicked out.  They both say they are in.  WE have lost Jen and Jason somewhere, Pete hasn't woken from his passing out yet.  So when I hear GNR come on, I race up to the front.  I try to grab SB, but he pushes me away and staggers back into a wall and crashes into some girls.  I won't see him again all night.  Harry follows me up and I get up front, remove my shirt and feel ice hitting me in the back.  Jen is trying to point out the bartender wants my shirt on.  About this time a big door guy approaches and has a look of shock, terror, confusion on his face seeing me dancing topless.  He mumbles something to do "with shirt on, why for the love of god why, shirt on now."  I put the shirt on, and we continue to party.  Harry wants to go and Jen agrees to walk him out.  SB is still MIA.  The bar finally closes, I get the remainder of glow sticks and hand them out to the girls on the way out of the club.  My goal at this point is finding that sweet nutritional Cheeseburger Big Bite found at any 7-11.    I look everywhere, but all I can find is some knock off 7-11.  Gourmet if you will.  A hoity toity mini mart.  It is called Wawa and it is crowded.  When I arrive I realize that they don't have anything comparable to the fine 1/2 pound of beef rolled into a fine sausage shape.  So I get some Doritos and have them pour chili, cheese and onions in.  I also buy a 1/2 gallon of Snickers Ice Cream.  We are walking out and Head approaches me and is upset that I walked off without him.  We have an out about my not giving him his keys (something about driving to Atlantic City) and he storms off.  I trudge the aimless wander of a drunk man that has just finished a bag of dorritos with chili in it and has started to eat the ice cream.  I stagger and stagger, and spoon away at the ice cream.  The story is almost a cover of one of Bubby's great stories.  After an Aspen game when we were playing in Denver, he was  MIA across town.  He once told me the only way he had enough energy to trudge on, was by eating ice cream.  It gave him just enough energy to keep his feet moving in front of him.  When he finally arrived at the hotel, he had chocolate ice cream all over his face and shirt, but he had made it. Well this dairy product was working.  I finally got back to the house and sat and ate Ice Cream. 

I sat with Ian and Joan (the chick that Ian had hooked up with in Ottawa) and called him out.  "Ian, you gonna be banging that later, or should I start hitting on her."  Drunk men can be quite obnoxious when they want to be.  I would like to stress no offense was intended to Joan.   About this time a wet and angry Jason arrives telling me to give him his car keys.  I tell him that Harry has them, not expecting him to wake up Harry.  I soon find Harry and Head standing before me.  I then tell him the truth that I have the keys and that I won't give them to him.  He grabs my ice cream and throws it into the River.  At this point I am shocked and almost in tears.  A scuffle breaks out and it broken up by our host Timmy.

I sit for a while, then crash on the recently vacated couch (where the Slumbering Pete has been all night).  Pete finds his nitch with Jen and I sleep in comfort.  Joan's arms wrapped around Ian, Pete's arms wrapped around Jen, Shanks laying alone (almost as if a movie...I was waiting to find SB outside holding a boom box over his head playing that song from Say Anything  "YOUR EYES."

We wake up and Harry is laying now where Shanks was, almost as if he ate her.  Liza is being informed of her flirtatious ways, and Pete is jealous that I got topless without him.  SB is still missing and Harry, head and I decide to get the hell out of Jersey. On the way back we drink beers, jam to music, and Head apologizes for punching me.  I simply say, "I didn't care about you hitting me, I am mad about my ice cream."  And the conversation ends there.

TO Head and my credit.  WE started drinking at midnight and ended drinking at 3 AM the next day....with a mere 2.5 hour nap.  We consistantly took it to the next level.