2001 Maggotfest Extravaganza
Injuries, loss of body control, and 2 Fallen Angels
| Idiot Brothers in attendance:
The biggest surprise was running into Idiot Brother #3, Hoss. I haven't seen him since 1997 and all attempts to locate him directed me towards the bermuda Triangle. He was lost. Until, that is, this big scruffy mountain man stumbles up to me covering his mouth. I am thinking, he is gonna puke. I jump out of the way, and wammo, he says, "I wasn't gonna puke on you JT." With that, he rejoined our collective and hopefully will keep in touch. He purchased one of our Fraternal Order of Idiot Brother T-shirts. See below. But another truly amazing meeting was between Al the Prop from Alasaka. I asked about the t-shirts, said who he was, and another set of Idiot brothers were together. One big happy family. Al also gave me a nice rugby t-shirt from Alaska. We crowned 2 new idiots at Maggotfest (both Handsome Pete and Cumknee joined our ranks.) They were sworn in in usual fashion (drinking) and we partied long into the night. At 2001 Maggotfest:
The Harry Files Harry Stokes, known around the world for his great party lines like "I am GAY! YES, I AM GAY!" and "Let me hold your damn baby....NOW," is most likely best known for his rendition of the scene from Silence of the Lambs (tucking) and yelling "who took it." Well no one knew who took it in Missoula, but everyone was hoping that they would give it back. Harry posing with teammates, strangers and unsuspecting wittnesses.
Harry crashes after a long weekend in MT. Note the stains on his
pants. That ain't just beer spillage.
The Purple Pete
For some reason Pete dyed himself purple both Saturday and Sunday. The cleaning lady was not happy with the stains in the shower, but he scrubbed them away and all was good. Pete, being one of the only other Maggotfest Veterans on the tour, met
up with some of his former mates from Elko NV. PAC was a mix of Purple
8 men, women locks, injured reserves, and several other whores wearing
the PAC emblem with pride.
Cocktails at 8 AM at the Oxford We met at the Ox on Friday morning before the rafting trip. I told the guys 8, but in reality I knew we weren't supposed to be there til close to 10. The guys, like sheep, followed and we had beer, bloody marys and Red Beers. Breakfast was good, and one of our guys even ordered the Brains and Eggs. Cow brains is a delicacy somewhere.
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Too many stories
When you go out to a tournament for 4 days, you are bound to create stories. Some of the stories need to be hushed, so no play by play will occur. These are mostly snippets of the weekend. IT was much different
than past maggotfest in that it was a collage of stories, not one story.
The Fallen Angels: We were at the Union Bar when these two lovely 6 foot tall girls approached. One thing lead to another and I had hired them to play for PAC. Maybe it was the beer. Maybe it was Title IX. But one thing is for sure. No one thought I was serious for asking and no one thought they were serious about playing.
They arrived on Saturday morning tired and hung over, but still full of spunk and energy. We walked out on the pitch vs the Flathead Moose. It was cold. We lost by 3. The girls played very well. Good push, great jumpers, and hard hitters. NO FEAR. Amazing. They played that way all weekend. As for off the field, they were easily the most popular girls at the Fest. No one on our team hooked up with them.....they said it was something about honor among teammates or some BS, but I think they feared the PAC Juggernaut known as "Sprechen Sie Gang Bang," but I regress.....don't go there. After about 3,000 photos at the Fest, I suggested that they charge a
$1 per photo. Here I am prior to my suggestion (my teammates can
attest I had no money to pay for photos.....or beer.) Brian is standing
next to me.....looking as if he might have diaper rash. Terrible
schaffing sport Rugby is.
The Rafting adventure...Friday I awoke to ROM screaming at our room....time to go. I had given my troops a false time 2 hours early to get them up for rafting. As we left for the Oxford, we noticed 3 absences. Sean Flynn, Tom Hastings and Brian Donnelly had not arrived in the parking lot for the walk over. Brian was MIA from the evening prior. Flynn and Hastings were injured and didn't feel up to the trip. I decided to go for breakfasts, beers and see the boys off. I would then return to the hotel, round up the boys and I could show them Glacier or Flathead Lake. The plan fizzled however, when by 3 pm, Donnelly had not returned. After a call to the police and hospitals, he showed up grinning. Bitten by the love bug, he had been too drunk to find his way to our hotel, so he entertained a guest 2 blocks away. Then spent an extra 1/2 day enjoying his hangover in the empty room. Cost $160. (on top of the $20 he had spent on his room at the Bel Aire.) Someone hinted that prostitutes are cheaper than $160 and next time he should look into that. But the others went rafting. At one point, a player had to be restrained. His mission was to kill "Gay Flatulant Harry." Our own Idiot Brother #22 had farted so many times on the bus trip that one man lost his sanity. The stench was so ripe that it caused people to vomit and caused one guy to turn gay. After each episode Harry would yell out, "I am Gay!"
The boys were certainly worse for wear when they returned to Missoula, and Harry marked his territory by pissing at Jays. Fights were avoided however when in the truest sense of comraderie, Ian picked a fight with Harry to trick everyone. In all reality, Harry and Ian are best friends and life long partners. (No? Oh that is right, Ian WAS pissed at Harry for peeing on him and was serious.) IN any case, Harry found himself wandering home that night and then waking up with 2 fire engines near him. Turns out he passed out Main Street. He woke up to paramedics shaking him. They sent him on his way and he woke up the next morning in a hotel, 2 blocks from the Bel Aire. He ended up missing the first game on Saturday, but was there when we picked up Brian (he missed the first game as well.)
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