And meet some women ruggers that appeared in Playboy
Texas Tech's Womens XV....in Girls of the Big 12
| The trip began like any rugby trip, there were 10 of us, 7 had paid,
2 were missing, 1 was in the hospital, and we were about 2 hours late.
Business as usual for the Denver Highlanders.
We loaded up the 32-foot Winnebago with a keg of beer, 3 pornos for the VCR and TV, champagne, tiki torches, and the Potato Cannon. The first crew in were myself, who had thrown this mess together, Mark, Bluto, and Mike Bruce (on loan from the Washington Irish). We picked up some food supplies and drove downtown to pick up the other 6. We arrived at Kevin’s and loaded up our foreigners (a kiwi, aussie, and South African) Paul, Kevin, and the SA, as well as Spicer, and Eugene. We found our final rider, a replacement for our hospital bound friend Bubba; Monty was at the final checkpoint. We chose the Diamond Cabaret as our point of departure for 3 reasons. It was close to the interstate to launch our giant ship. 2) There was the all you can eat Prime rib buffet for $7. 3) And finally, don’t forget…. it is a strip club. We left the Cabaret, about 1 hour later than we had estimated. We had planned on doing a little sabotage on our cross-town rivals before departing. The Denver Barbarians RFC had left the confirmation number on their hotline for their hotel accommodations at the tournament. Our plan was to call and cancel those reservations. Unfortunately, because big tits and prime rib seemed more important than a silly call, the Barbos slept in beds that night. Before we left, I handed out the tour hats for the trip. I had made each player a big blue grand poobah hat for the trip. (See Poobah Party page link). The players placed their hats on their heads and we drove. We started the trip with Spicer driving…..which was good because he hadn’t had anything to drink yet. Spicer enjoys tequila a bit too much. We slipped in Buttman’s British Bouncing Babes a porno of fine qualities and tapped the keg. We drank for about 4 hours when we finally crossed into New Mexico. In the meantime, most of the guys had gotten tired of rewinding the Buttman, so we just would rewind about 20 minutes and watch the same scenes over and over. Monty, feeling a bit free spirited undressed and sat in the front seat completely naked, with the exception of his big blue hat. This made us all a bit uneasy, but we carried on. Monty dressed to show us his potato cannon, a pipe that was rigged to shoot potato at a high velocity. We shot a few highway road signs and laughed. Kevin, AKA Bubby, took over about the halfway point and the Paul and Bubby took us into New Mexico. They couldn’t stop arguing about who was better navigators Aussies or Kiwis, when we almost missed our turn. After a near tip over in the winne, we corrected ourselves and drove into a hotel parking lot in which most of our club was staying. As we prepared to leave the winne, someone threw out the dare, which at the time seemed impossible at best. “Men, we will have no white women tonight….only hit on minorities.” Interesting challenge. Spicer and Bruce were the first off the winne. Wham. They were struck by a speeding car….no damage to car or player…the two stepped over to the driver. They talked for a while…and jumped in their car with them. As they drove by, we could see that they had joined two Navajo Indian women on their way to a night out line dancing. DAMN…they are winning. We entered the hotel and found none of our mates had arrived yet. I walked into the “Captains meeting” and found several familiar faces. Troop, a forward from the Flathead Moose RFC in Kalispel Montana was downing a beer with several other Moose. They instantly recognized the big blue poobah hat and approached. After sharing rugby stories and drinking couple more beers, the team arrived and we all made our way up to their hotel rooms. We loaded up in taxis to goto the pretournament party at “Hooters.” At Hooters we were met by several teams enjoying the fruits of hops and barley. I wondered around with the team’s slush fund and randomly bought women clubs pitchers. Remembering our challenge, I approached one team with a couple attractive Hispanic chicks. As I looked at the team and introduced myself, I noticed this gorgeous women to my left. I said “I don’t mean to be cliché, but you are truly gorgeous…you could be on TV.” Her response stunned me. “Well, my two friends over there and I were all in Playboy’s Girls of the Big 12 College Issue.” My face turned completely white. What was I to do….I stared into space questioning the meaning of life. She followed her shocking statement with, “I can prove it…do you want to see?” I stuttered off…”See your tits?” She slapped me. “No,” she responded, “my tattoo.” She took off her shoe and sock and revealed this strange circular tattoo on her toe. “This is visible in the magazine….to prove it is me.” Well, always being prepared, I carry that same issue in my kit bag, so it would only be hours before I could prove it was her. My mates snickered, they laughed, and made me the joke. I sat with the women’s team, enjoying conversing with Jenny, one of the Playboy girls (a Hispanic). The other girls were the blonde-blue eyed tattooed girl and another girl. At one point the blonde with the tattoo walked up to the Paul the Kiwi and started talking to him about her appearance in Playboy. His response was “Sure you were you stupid Bird…now run along.” Near the end of the night the blonde and Jenny both gave me a nice kiss goodnight and I went on my way to find my Playboy. As I opened up the issue and saw their glowing faces I realized that I had taken part in something that not only most props, but most mortal men only dream about. I had been kissed by 2 girls from Playboy. Granted it was very innocent, but it would live in my heart as a win for the good guys. I poured myself another beer in the winnebago to celebrate my success in life and looked for a place to sleep. Most of the bed space was taken. I heard Bubby scream from the back of the winne, “shut up.” I shared my story with him, and he seemed genuinely proud to be a prop. Spicer and Bruce arrived back in the winne about 4:30 AM (Bubby and I were still drinking), and shared their experiences with the two Native Americans. A near fight, almost losing their tour hats, and finally getting shot down, left the two men tired and drunk. We fell asleep around 5 AM. At 6:30 the team was awoken to a the pounding on our door. The rest of the team that slept in the hotel was ready to head to the field. Our first game was 8 AM and we needed time to find the pitch and an hour to warm up. I shook the cob webs from my head and collected my thoughts. We arrived at the pitch at 7 AM, as I stepped off the winne, the tour director approached us smiling. “Highlanders, I apologize for the early start, I would like to offer you all some breath mint for your troubles.” At that, he tossed me a bottle of peppermint Schnapps. We passed the bottle and warmed up for the most tiring game of our careers. We won. We spent the next hours drinking slowly flattening beer from the keg and passing around the Playboy in ahhh. The Kiwi, shook his head and said, “What was I thinking.” We then walked up to the field and watched the girls play. Wow they were miserable. We drank more that day, played well, but lost out in the Quarterfinals. As we finished the game we walked back to the keg van, which had just run our of beer and collapsed by the winnebago. Our keg was empty as well. Bubby and I snuck off with the last bottle of Champagne, as the boys were trying to hit the Barbarians' team with the potato cannon. We attended a nice party before heading to some terrible dance club. The highlight of the night was near the end of the evening, while Paul and I were walking back to the parked Winnebago, a girl walked up to give me a hug goodbye and stubbed her toe into my foot. I was wearing Birkenstocks and felt a sharp pain. I looked down to see my big toe (nail) standing straight up. Her kick and popped my toenail almost completely off and blood started to flow down my toe. Paul looks down and says “I reckon that has got to be excruciating.” I couldn’t feel it. Later that night, as the beer buzz wore off, I felt the pain, I felt the pain that dissidents in Latin American countries feel. I hobbled down to a 7/11 and bought some scissors, Neosporin, and Band-Aids. I performed surgery on my toe that night and wrapped the mess up. I arrived back in the winne to find Bubby sitting on the couch (bed) with a bottle of vodka in his hand and puke down his chest. I woke him up and helped him out of the winnebago. We had pretty much trashed the winne during the 3 days we were there, but no one cared…..there was Sunday to clean. We drove off the next day with a full toilet tank, no beer, and little food. We were about 10 miles outside of Santa Fe, when Mark stepped back to use the toilet one more time. Suddenly there was a smell, no smell has ever been found since. This was the smell of evil. And then Mark came staggering out of the toilet. His only comment was, “I flushed the toilet and this big monster came crawling out to attack me.” We drove for about 45 miles until we found a toilet dump station….which we quickly dumped and were back on the road. We arrived back in Denver to find a blizzard had covered the landscape.
We drove to Spicer’s house to fix the winne up. We worked on the winne,
cleaning and fixing for about 2 hours and found ourselves driving each
player home, hoping not to lose too much of our deposit. We lost $21. Tour:
Successful. Tournament: 3rd Place.
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To see the nude photos of Jenny and the other girls click here.
Warning: The link will show nudity. You must be 18 to enter.